I always think the words ‘wedding’ and ‘etiquette’ somehow do not go together. Wedding is one of the most beautiful moments of a person’s life, a melange of emotions and a hope for a new future together. Etiquette on the other hand exudes strict, emotionless formality. But since, wedding is also a union of two families, you need to appease everyone and adhering to wedding etiquette is the best way of achieving that. Addressing your guests is another issue you must consider if you do not wish to offend or upset anyone on your wedding. Hence, we offer some wedding envelope etiquette guidelines to help you out.
Wedding Invitation Envelope Etiquette
Traditionally, wedding invitations comprise two envelopes, an outer one and an inner one. The outer one is for the formal name and mailing address of the recipients, while the inner one is less formal, with only the names of the guests. The return address is mentioned on the back flap of the outer envelope. The idea behind this protocol was that the mail was often received by the servants of the house, who would separate wedding invitations from the other mail. They would then remove the outer envelope and hand the inner envelope to their masters.
Since the invitation had already reached its destination, there was no need for the outer envelope. Although the practice of getting mail through servants has become obsolete now, the tradition continues. However, some couples prefer to send a single outer envelope with their guests’ formal name and postal address.
Wedding Envelope Addressing Etiquette
Wedding envelope etiquette for addressing guests was never complicated before. But with the emergence of gay, live in relationships and with the divorce rate reaching an all-time high, addressing your guests has become a big headache. Moreover, you also have to consider their professional titles while addressing envelopes. Given below are some possible combinations for addressing your guests.
Married Couple Living in the Same House
Outer Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Smith
(Address)
Inner Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Married Couple Living in the Same House With Children Under 18 yrs
Outer Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Smith
Alex and Susan (elder first)
(Address)
Inner Envelope
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Alex and Susan
Children above 18 years should be sent separate invites even if they are staying with their parents. If the woman retains her maiden name she could be addressed similar to an unmarried woman as given below.
Unmarried Couple Living in the Same House
Outer Envelope
Ms. Caroline Jones
Mr. David McGregor
(Address)
Inner Envelope
Ms. Jones
Mr. McGregor
A couple that does not technically stay together should be sent separate invites. Also, a divorced couple should be sent separate invites. The woman can be addressed by whatever name she retains after her divorce.
Single Individual With Guest
If you wish to invite a friend you know is seeing someone or engaged, it would be appropriate to find out the name of the concerned person. You can either send that person a separate invite or address them together as an unmarried couple. If you are not able to retrieve the name of the concerned individual, it is acceptable to address them as ‘guest’. The format for addressing a single individual is as below:
Outer Envelope
Ms. Caroline Jones
(Address)
Inner Envelope
Ms. Jones and Guest
LGBT Couple
If the couple stays together they should be sent a single invite with both their names appearing on the envelope in alphabetical order.
Outer Envelope
Mr. Malcolm Filch
Mr. Simon O’Connor
(Address)
Inner Envelope
Mr. Filch
Mr. O’Connor
Wedding envelope etiquette may vary slightly according to your country and tradition. If you are still confused about how to address your guests, let your common sense guide you. You are least likely to go wrong this way!